ATTENTION!

This is easily the most important thing ever said on the internet. Please drop what you are doing and give this post your full and unswerving attention. Even if you messed your pants just now, suck it up until you’re done reading. I urge you.

ONLY THIS PETITION CAN SOLVE THE AGES-LONG CONUNDRUM OF EXPLAINING WHO SOLID SNAKE’S FAVORITE BAND IS, ONCE AND FOR ALL

Every year, millions of Solid Snakes can be found on the video output of various gaming consoles. Every incarnation of Solid Snake has yet to ever declare a favorite band. We, the undersigned, wish to designate the band Cheap Trick as the official canon favorite band of video game hero Solid Snake of the Metal Gear franchise.

Just imagine the possibilities!

I won't you to won't me!!

Or how about a little of this?

The dream police know what games you enjoy.

Think how rad it would be for Snake to impress Meryl with his first edition Japanese pressing of Cheap Trick at Budokan! He and Campbell could have codec conversations about what a dark time it was when Tom Petersson left the band to go solo in the early-to-mid-eighties! Imagine the conflict when Otacon borrows and loses Snake’s precious signed 7-inch of Baby Talk!

WHY?
Why not?

IS CHEAP TRICK YOUR FAVORITE BAND?
Actually, no. To be honest, I’m really not that familiar with them. I just thought that it was a good idea. My favorite band is The Clash, but they’re too political to really be an appropriate favorite band for Solid Snake.

REALLY, WHY CHEAP TRICK?
Again, why not? Given that a lot of people stay loyal to the bands they liked best in high school, it makes sense that a character who would have gone through his teenage years in the eighties might like Cheap Trick best, a band known for good power-punk-pop songs. I mean, really, why not? I don’t think he’d have been a hair metal guy, mullet or not. He doesn’t seem like he would’ve been a fan of Top 40 pop music. Maybe he liked Zeppelin a bit, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to think of a pimply, teenage Snake with like two scratched LPs that he’d play all the time.

surrender, surrender

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